We have wedding etiquettes left and right tackling a number of issue related to weddings. But modifications have to be made because times have also changed.

Centuries or decades ago, husbands and wives are stuck to each other for life, in sickness and in health. But nowadays, everything has changed. Most of the parents now are divorced by the time the marriage reaches its tenth year.

That is why modern weddings are further complicated with the emergence of stepmothers. Yes, almost every bride or groom in town has a stepmother.

But the problem is, how are stepmothers dealt with during weddings. From this cue, let us focus on stepmothers.

Stepmothers are usually portrayed as wicked and evil, just in the case of Snow White and Cinderella. But in reality, stepmothers are also human. Most of them are really kind and good-hearted, and some are even better, when it comes to the personality department, than real mothers.

Being a Stepmother

If you are a stepmother, the simplest and most basic ethic you should adopt when your step daughter or step son gets married is to take the back seat.

The principal and most basic issue that hounds stepmothers during step daughter’s or step son’s weddings is the attire. Focus on that, and be amazed at how every issue and dispute is covered by the issue on attire.

Traditionally, during weddings, it is the bride’s mom that decides on everything. The first and basic concern for each wedding is the wedding gown. Biological mothers have all the right to intervene and decide on that.

Take not that in adherence to traditional and appropriate wedding etiquettes, the groom’s mom, the bridesmaids and the maid of honor will have to take the fashion cue from the bride’s mother.

In other words, the bride should stand out in the wedding. Her mom will have to stand out next to her. No one ever will have or be given the chance to steal their thunders.

It is in this part that the stepmother takes the backseat. To be nice and courteous, just adhere and agree to the bride’s mom’ fashion statement. If you are a stepmother, your attire during the wedding should never outdo that of the bride or that of the bride’s mother.

Doing otherwise will divert attention from the two stars of the moment to you. And that will lead to serious encounters and problems. Do not spoil your step daughter’s or step son’s wedding just so you can stick out and flash your unique and sensible fashion statement.

Your attire should only be complimentary, in style and in color, to those of the bride’s, the mom’s, the maid of honor’s and the bridesmaids.

Stepmothers during the wedding

The stepmother’s sacrifice in the attire department does not stop there. Most stepmothers should be canonized as saints especially if they patiently survive step son’s or step daughter’s wedding.

In throwing up receptions, stepmothers’ attires should still be underdog compared to the bride’s and the mom’s. Take note, adhere to this wedding etiquette even if you husband pays for the entire wedding. You will not want to arouse his ex-wife’s temper. For sure.

During the ceremony, the stepmother, with her dress-down attire, does not normally sit beside the bride’s or groom’s father. It is still the biological mother that has the right. Stepmothers are usually seated two to three rows back of the groom’s or bride’s parents.

In several cases, wedding organizers not only advise stepmothers to tone down their attire, they also advise stepmothers to seat where the original wife could not see them. This is to avoid two moms from throwing cake at each other.

If you are a stepmother and you are of the same age, or younger than, as the bride, do not, repeat, do not attend the wedding. You might attract scandals. If you have been the cause of the break up between the bride’s or groom’s mom and husband, the warnings should be utmost and more emphasized to you.

It is hard to be a stepmother, right? But understanding your position and living it out with utmost fashion and grace will help you outshine the occasion, even if you do not need it. You are not on the losing side. Besides, you have your loving husband with you—the proof and trophy for you being the winner!

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An elegant small wedding is one of the most beautiful weddings that can be organized. The budget is not too high, the attendees are all relaxed and will likely have a good time and nuances such as children running around and making noise will be avoided. A wedding without too much frills makes sure that the love between the couple is the focus of the ceremony.

Etiquette in a small wedding

ATTIRE: Guests are only advised to wear clothes comfortable to them. A dress from a closet selection, a white one or even a sundress is appropriate for a small wedding. A bridesmaid can wear a white dress or even a pantsuit. The groom can go for khakis, or even jeans paired with a shirt and a sport coat.

SETTING: A small wedding can be held in a community center, a local park or even your parents’ backyard. Holding ceremonies in a unique location such as a rooftop, a barn, an art gallery can clearly speak about the personalities of the couple.

INVITATIONS: Invitations in a small wedding can be handwritten on handmade paper. Send them like writing a note to a close friend. It is important to note that attendees should be in casual attire.

FLOWERS: Simple bulbs such as hyacinths or tulips can serve as alternatives for floral flower arrangements. Using these will generate huge savings for the couple. Gerber diaries inserted in a flat container filled with wheat grass can serve as an attractive centerpiece.

MENU: The menu of a small wedding can be very diverse. A party can be set a few months before the wedding and the guests can be asked to bring their favorite recipes. The couple can choose their favorites and use them as wedding food. It is also good to acknowledge whose recipe it is by putting a label in front of every dish. Besides a party, a barbeque or picnic fare can be held.

REGISTRY: Common retail stores such as Sears or Target can be used as gift registries. Couples can specify what they want to receive in order to avoid the usual gift of expensive China that will likely collect dust in a cabinet.

Costs, costs, costs

Tradition dictates that the bride’s parents are responsible for paying off the wedding regardless if it is small or big. However, expenses have become an issue due to the challenging times. The etiquette in requesting for money is by gathering both families and discussing how to share in the wedding expenses, as the couple will unlikely have enough to cover all of their needs.

The budget will be a major basis on what type of wedding will be held. The couple needs to meet with everyone who will be attending. However, the couple cannot force their parents to shell out money that is not available.

Couples can make various compromises if their budget falls short. For example, less expensive rings can be used. A more expensive replacement can be acquired in the future. Some couples do not even have wedding rings at all. Those living in a nice climate can have the reception at home and hire catering services. To help control costs, a butler can be tasked to pass around hors d’ oeuvres and refreshments.

The parents of the groom traditionally pay for the following items:

Boutonnieres for groom’s attendants
The bride’s bouquet
Officiate fee or donation
Rehearsal Dinner
Lodging and transportation expenses of the rabbi or minister
Corsages for every family member
Transportation of the Groom and Best Man going to the wedding

Giving tips is a nice way of rewarding those that have given good service but it is not a requirement. A tip given to a minister can be seen as a gift for marrying the couple. Tips can be given to servers, drivers and musicians but still, this is not a requirement.

The etiquette in service fees

Couples should make sure that they are comfortable with the people that are helping in the wedding whether it is the wedding experts, the photographer and even the florists. They should share the same vision on how the wedding should come out and not merely focus on how much money will spent.

A couple may receive possibly the lowest price but if the rendered service does not meet what was promised, the value is useless, even if it is a small wedding.

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Most couples who are about to get married face the problem of staging a rehearsal dinner because they have no idea of the proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners.

This articles hopes to provide some enlightenment to the couple regarding the proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinner. Enumerated below are some of the usual questions that couples ask regarding the proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners.

Though rehearsal dinner planning is making couples go crazy, they need not worry, a few rules to observe is all they need before actually staging the rehearsal dinners.

The Guest List

Couples must remember that there are really no rules involved in staging a rehearsal dinner. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners is as plain as the wedding day itself.

Firstly, the proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggests that the couple choose wisely and pick out the members of their guest list. It is really up to them who they will invite.

The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners really has no restrictions as to how many the guests are. It can be simple as the couple only, can include their immediate families, and also those guests at their wedding party with their spouses or their significant others.

The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also has no regulations on what a couple intends to lay-out a motif or theme for their rehearsal dinner. Either they make it a bash or they can invite all their out-of-town guests.

A rehearsal dinner is a very good chance or opportunity to be able to maximize what quality time that you have with your visiting friends and your relatives. Proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggest this as the most proper time to be able to chat with your friends and relatives, unlike the wedding day itself, rehearsal dinners give the couples more relaxing and quiet time.

The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also advises couples not to worry about not having the proper surprise for them. The guests usually do not go to the actual ceremony rehearsal. The ceremony is usually for the wedding party and their parents.

The Fiance’s Family

Sometimes, the family of a fiance has no idea that they are supposedly hosting the rehearsal dinner. Usually the parents can not afford all of it and still suggest the couple invite everyone to go to a catered party.

The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners are usually recommending that the family of the fiance shoulder all the expense for the rehearsal dinner. Most people are ignorant of this rule, however, they should be properly notified of this proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners.

The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also tells us that it is not advisable not to invite the families. The couple must note that no matter who or what they are, they are still the fiance’s parents and will soon near enough be the in-laws.

No matter what they have done or they act. A couple must remind themselves to start off on the correct foot by giving out invitation to the fiance’s family. Trouble might brew if they will not be included in the rehearsal dinner.

The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggest that though the fiance’s parents does not realize that they are the ones who should be hosting the rehearsal dinner, its up to the couple to bring the subject up.

The couple can always opt to host the dinner themselves. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners can remind them that the rehearsal dinner does not have to be a big rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner can be as big as a take home pizza party or simple grilling burgers at the backyard.

The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners reminds couples to look at the situation as a possible way to kick back just before the wedding. The couple must instead concentrate on the family, on each other and the wedding party.

The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also can be said that rehearsal dinners are a good time to present the guests with the thank you gifts.

Instead on dwelling on what the parents might do during the rehearsal dinner, the couple must instead be happy that at this very special moment of their life, their families are together.
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Just a decade ago, there is this popular thought in the way second wedding should be celebrated. People say that couples should not be extravagant and formal in celebrating their second wedding, most especially if the bride or the groom was divorced from his or her first spouse. Second wedding should be celebrated quietly, in a smaller and intimate party.

Nowadays, however, this is thought does not hold true to many of us. Couples who will celebrate their Second Wedding should not hide their emotions and love for each other. They could celebrate their Second Wedding in any way they want it to be celebrated. Be it an intimate or quiet one or extravagant and formal the way they have celebrated their first wedding.

Don’t think what other people would say about you being too extravagant for a Second Wedding. If you and your groom have the budget to finance a feast wedding, then do as you please! It is not everyday that you will find a person who would make your heart beat the second time. And finding the real Mr. Right for you (which you failed to find from your first spouse) is enough a reason to host a feast.

But do you know that Second Wedding also has its list of Etiquette? So, if you want to avoid seeing raised eyebrows on your wedding day, try to know some basic Second Wedding Etiquette and avoid committing Second Wedding Etiquette blunders.

– Second Wedding Etiquette – How to Announce Your Engagement

If you have children from your first marriage, getting married for the second time will be a bit hard for them. So, even before you announce your Second Wedding to people that you know, take the time to sit down and talk to your children first about your plans to remarry. This is the most important Second Wedding Etiquette that you must remember. If you failed to tell your kids in advance about your plans of remarrying, you are taking your second marriage in an uneven road even before you, your second husband, his kids and your kids live in one roof.

Second Wedding Etiquette requires you tell your parents of your engagement before you inform your ex-spouse. If you don’t have any children with your ex-spouse, you would not violate second wedding etiquette if you won’t inform you ex-spouse about your engagement.

– Second Wedding Etiquette – Wedding Dress Issue

Lilac or lavender is the color of wedding dress for widow brides who are getting married for the second time. But this Second Wedding Etiquette is not obligatory; widow brides may wear any color of wedding dress that they wish to wear.

This fact holds true to divorced brides who will be having her second wedding. Divorced brides can wear white wedding gown. But it would be best if they would leave out the veil and tiara. A flower headress would be the best alternative.

– Second Wedding Etiquette – Should You Invite Your Ex?

When planning for your second wedding, you should list the people who you would like to invite. Your groom should have his own list too. Then you and the groom should sit down to talk about who should and should not be on the list of guests. This is the proper Etiquette for Second Wedding.

For Second Wedding Etiquette, it is advised that former in-laws and ex-spouses should not be written on the guest list even if you are on good terms with them. Your guests may feel a bit awkward around them.

Even if your groom agrees on the idea of inviting your ex-in-laws and ex-spouse (just to show that he hasn’t any bad blood for his ex), you should not agree into it. You won’t know what would happen if the former and current in-laws and spouses meet. It’s better to be safe than sorry. The proper Second Wedding Etiquette for this scenario is to invite your ex-spouse instead for a dinner after the wedding and honeymoon.

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When preparing for a wedding, the first thing the soon-to-be-wed couple will have to pay attention to is the guest list. It will be advisable to make a comprehensive and complete guest list before planning for the reception so you will have the rough estimate how many people might show up.

After the guest list was completed, the couple should start making or composing the wedding invitation. There are dozens of wedding etiquettes that cover this particular aspect of wedding preparation.

When preparing the wedding invitation, please bear in mind that your invitations will create a first impression of the coming wedding among the guests.

Good invitations, or those that adhere to acceptable wedding etiquettes, will create the impression or idea that the couple is caring for the guests and are valuing them as to inviting them to take part in the important occasion.

Preparing the wedding invitation

Most of today’s wedding invitations are prepared by professional printers. Some are part of packages offered by wedding planners.

Wedding invitations should be carefully and tastefully worded so the message would be effectively conveyed. Paying attention to even the smallest details in the invitation can make a really significant difference on how the invitation will be received by the recipients.

This particular section will focus on one aspect in wedding invitation preparation that most couples often neglect—the addressing envelope.

Envelopes

Addressing envelopes are often not paid much attention to because most couples and wedding organizers think guests will not pay particular attention to them.

It can be true. There are some guests that pay no attention or do not care about the general presentation and appearances of addressing envelopes. But there are a significant few that do care about how invitations’ envelopes are addressed.

For a start, we know that for every person, the sweetest sound or word is his or her own name. Thus, it often annoys them when people misspell their names.

In adherence to traditional and practical wedding etiquette, make sure that the addressing envelope bears correctly spelled names. Titles to people should also be mentioned and addressed in the envelope. Doctors would like to be called as one, as well as engineers, architects, lawyers and priests.

Wedding etiquettes for addressing envelopes also urge that couples or wedding invitation makers should spell out everything. Even titles in envelopes should be spelled out. Thus, Doctor is written instead of Dr.; Engineer is written instead of Engr; and Attorney is written instead of Atty.

Zip codes in addresses in envelopes for wedding invitations should not be hyphenated. Of course, practically, the addresses written in the envelopes should be accurate, or else, the invitation will be returned to you.

As for children, their names are not usually written in envelopes for wedding invitations. Wedding etiquettes for addressing envelopes have it that only the parents’ name are mentioned in the envelope.

For guests with no definite professional titles, do not forget to put Mr., Ms., or Mrs. before their names. This is a universal gesture that indicates respect to the person.

Inner envelopes

For aesthetic rather than practical reasons, some wedding invitations include inner envelopes. According to existing wedding etiquettes, inner envelopes are not a no, no, but they are not also required.

Wedding invitations can get away with it. However, inner envelopes certainly make for much better presentation. They may cost a little more, though.

The aim of inner envelopes is to clearly state or reiterate who exactly is invited to the wedding. Children’s names are never mentioned in the address envelope, but in inner envelopes, they can be mentioned.

In accordance to wedding etiquettes, inner envelopes also may appear less formal. Names and titles can be abbreviated.

Wedding invitations herald good news

Yes, wedding invitations are the herald or bearer of the good news. In wedding etiquette books, experts say the invitation should be considered a gift coming from the soon-to-be-wed couple to their beloved guests.

Wedding invitations are tokens of appreciation by the couple to their friends, families and relatives who have played significant roles in their lives. Make every wedding invitation count for that reason.

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People these days are thinking, does WEDDING ETIQUETTE still exist in our age wherein every rule that anybody can think of could be bent? In this rule defying age, it seems that WEDDING ETIQUETTE is just a thing of the past. But is WEDDING ETIQUETTE really now just part of history? I don’t think so. And maybe even you and the rest of the population don’t think so, too.

Every culture has WEDDING ETIQUETTE. Even if we think those who live in far flung areas are barbaric and do not know a thing about WEDDING ETIQUETTE, they have their own sets of rules and etiquette to follow. Their WEDDING ETIQUETTE may not be as proper as we think ours is, but for them their WEDDING ETIQUETTE is the proper WEDDING ETIQUETTE.

The WEDDING ETIQUETTE that we have come to know dates back from the 1800, at the time of the Victorians. Victorians are well educated, intelligent and well mannered. They value social manners and behavior. This is the reason why lots of social and WEDDING ETIQUETTE books had been published during the Victorian era.

The social and WEDDING ETIQUETTE practices of the Victorians has been passed on to us and became the basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE of the westerners. These Victorian WEDDING ETIQUETTE has been modified or bent to suit our current culture and lifestyle.

What are the basics of WEDDING ETIQUETTE? Should we follow every rule in Emily Post’s famous WEDDING ETIQUETTE book?

WEDDING ETIQUETTE BASICS

In every all aspect of the wedding there is a WEDDING ETIQUETTE that should be followed. There’s a WEDDING ETIQUETTE to follow when creating an invitation, sending it out, and replying to it; in attending a wedding, guests should abide to the basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE for guests; when sending out gifts there’s a WEDDING ETIQUETTE too that must be followed. <

Here are some of basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE for the wedding parties and the guests:

For the bride and groom:

- Wedding invitation must be worded either formal or informal. It depends upon the couple. If they want a formal wedding celebration, they must choose formal words. If the wedding will be celebrated with closest family and friends, an informal wording on the invitation would do.

Invitation should be sent out four to six weeks before the wedding. If your wedding is a wedding destination, you may send a Save a Date card to your guests six to eight months before the wedding. Your guest also need to prepare themselves financially and physically for your wedding destination.

- A bride can now choose any dress design and color that she wants. But if she will be wed in a church with strict rules on dress code, she should abide to the rules of her church.

- A groom may wear either a suit or black tie. He could also wear a loose dress in beige pants for a beach wedding.

- The couples should not ask for cash gifts. As for wedding registry card, they should not insert it invitation. Just mention in your invitation that you have an online wedding registry.

- The stepmother may seat at the church’s first pew only if the bride (if the bride is her stepdaughter) is closer to her than her mother. However, if the bride is close to both her mother and stepmother, she should seat her mother at the first pew.

For the guests:

- Invited guests should reply to a wedding invitation immediately after receipt of the invitation card or not later than two weeks before the wedding. Couples need to be informed of the actual head count for the sit down dinner.

- Guests should be formally dressed if the invitation is worded formally even if there is no indication that the attire should be formal. Women are now allowed to wear evening dress for a formal wedding especially if their escorts are in black tie.

- Guests are not obliged to buy gifts from the registry. Invited guests who can’t make it to the wedding are also not obliged to send gifts.

Gifts may be sent to the couple before or one year after the wedding. It will help the newlywed alot if the gifts will be delivered at the couples new address.

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